On Glimmers: Cues of Safety, Connection, Joy, and Peace
The simple act of noticing the smell of cut grass on a warm day, feeling the sun’s warmth on your skin, or enjoying a cozy cup of tea might seem trivial in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. But these small moments, what clinical social worker and Polyvagal theory practitioner Deb Dana calls “glimmers,” can have a profound impact on your mental and emotional well-being. By paying attention to these brief moments of joy and peace, we can begin to reshape our nervous system from a state of stress or dysregulation toward experiencing more safety, calm, and joy.
In this blog post, we’ll explore what glimmers are, how they contrast with triggers, and the science behind them. We'll also discuss practical steps you can take to increase the number of glimmers in your life, leading to greater feelings of safety, connection, and emotional regulation.
What Exactly Is a Glimmer?
At its core, a glimmer is a small, fleeting moment that triggers a feeling of safety, calm, joy, or connection. It might be as simple as seeing a rainbow after a rainstorm, feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, or hearing your favorite song unexpectedly. These moments are not just pleasant; they offer a neurological cue for your body to experience a shift toward calm and connection.
The concept of glimmers contrasts sharply with the idea of a trigger. In the language of Polyvagal theory, triggers are environmental cues that activate the body’s fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses in reaction to perceived danger. Triggers are designed to protect us, and they’re incredibly efficient at causing the body to move into survival mode.
In contrast, glimmers are cues for the body to shift towards safety, calm, and connection. Rather than putting us into survival mode, glimmers help us regulate our nervous system and create feelings of joy and well-being. While triggers are automatic and often unconscious, glimmers require a level of awareness and intentionality to recognize, making it a powerful tool for emotional regulation and stress relief.
The Neuroscience Behind Glimmers and Triggers
Our brains are hardwired to scan the environment for cues of danger, a process that evolved to protect us from harm. This ability is deeply ingrained in our nervous system and allows us to react quickly when faced with a threat. However, this mechanism, while essential for survival, can often leave us more attuned to stressful or threatening stimuli than to positive experiences.
When we encounter a trigger, our nervous system can shift into sympathetic activation—the “fight or flight” mode. This shift activates various physiological responses such as increased heart rate, faster breathing, and muscle tension, all designed to prepare the body for action in the face of danger.
On the other hand, glimmers activate the opposite response in our nervous system. Instead of activating the fight-or-flight response, glimmers stimulate a shift toward the parasympathetic nervous system, which is associated with relaxation, rest, and digestion. This shift helps us experience states of calm, safety, and social connection. Research has shown that even small moments of joy or peace can lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) and promote feelings of well-being.
The brain also has a remarkable ability to change over time through a process called neuroplasticity. By actively noticing and focusing on glimmers, we can retrain our brains to be more attuned to positive cues. This can help reduce the dominance of triggers and create a more balanced, regulated nervous system.
How Glimmers Contrast with Triggers: Moving from Dysregulation to Safety
The key difference between glimmers and triggers lies in their ability to either dysregulate or regulate the nervous system.
Triggers: These are cues that provoke stress, anxiety, or fear, often moving the body into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses. These reactions are rooted in survival mechanisms, but when activated too frequently, they can lead to chronic stress, emotional dysregulation, and even burnout.
Glimmers: In contrast, glimmers are subtle signals that shift the body toward safety and connection. They can trigger feelings of calm, joy, and peace, encouraging a regulated nervous system and the ability to stay present in the moment.
Both triggers and glimmers are signals that the nervous system uses to adjust to the environment, but while triggers put us into survival mode, glimmers pull us into a restorative state, fostering balance and harmony. In recognizing these glimmers, we can train our brains to experience more moments of peace and connection, even in the midst of stress.
How to Notice and Increase Glimmers in Your Life
While the brain is highly attuned to threats, it often overlooks the positive cues around us. This is why it’s important to consciously practice noticing glimmers—the small moments of peace, connection, or joy that occur in everyday life. Here are some strategies to help you increase the number of glimmers you experience and enhance your emotional well-being.
1. Set an Intention to Notice Glimmers
Start your day with the intention to notice at least a few glimmers. It could be as simple as deciding to appreciate the warmth of your coffee, the sound of birds singing, or the kindness of a stranger. When you consciously set this intention, you prime your nervous system to notice moments of joy and calm throughout the day. This can help you shift away from stress and move into a more regulated state.
2. Ground Yourself in the Present Moment
Engage in grounding activities, such as deep breathing or mindful walking, that help bring you into the present moment. By tuning into your senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell—you can more easily spot glimmers around you. For example, when walking outdoors, notice the colors of the sky, the scent of flowers, or the cool breeze on your skin.
3. Create a Glimmer Journal
Journaling is a powerful tool for reinforcing positive emotions. Keep a glimmer journal where you can note the moments of peace or joy you experienced during the day. Whether it’s the laughter of a loved one, the scent of a flower, or the warmth of the sun, writing these moments down helps solidify them in your memory. At the end of the day, take a moment to reflect on these glimmers, allowing them to linger in your mind.
4. Use Simple Cues to Reinforce Glimmers
When you experience a glimmer, take a moment to stop and appreciate it. You can mentally note “glimmer” or physically place your hand on your heart to help ground the feeling of joy or safety. This act of mindfulness will help your body register the positive cue and reinforce the feeling of calm.
5. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is another powerful tool for increasing glimmers. At the end of each day, reflect on the things you’re grateful for, no matter how small. This practice helps you shift your focus from what’s wrong or stressful to what’s going well in your life, allowing you to notice more glimmers in your daily routine.
6. Engage in Activities That Bring You Joy
Doing activities that make you feel good—whether it’s spending time with loved ones, enjoying your favorite hobby, or listening to soothing music—can increase the likelihood of experiencing glimmers. These activities help you tap into the parasympathetic nervous system, bringing you into a state of calm and connection.
7. Visualize Your Glimmers
If you find it difficult to notice glimmers in your environment, try imagining them. Visualization has a similar effect on the brain as actually experiencing the event. Think about a time when you felt deeply safe, joyful, or connected, and allow yourself to fully experience the emotions associated with that moment. This practice can help you tune into the feelings of glimmers even before they happen.
When Glimmers Feel Inaccessible: Seeking Support
Noticing glimmers can be challenging for individuals who are struggling with chronic stress, trauma, or emotional dysregulation. If you find it difficult to identify moments of safety, joy, or peace, it may be helpful to work with a qualified mental health professional who specializes in trauma-informed therapy or Polyvagal theory. A therapist, such as myself, can help you explore the underlying barriers that prevent you from noticing glimmers and guide you toward increasing your capacity for connection, safety, and joy.
The Long-Term Benefits of Noticing Glimmers
By consistently noticing and increasing glimmers, you can significantly improve your mental health, emotional regulation, and overall quality of life. Over time, this practice strengthens your ability to experience feelings of safety and joy, which can reduce the impact of stress, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. As your nervous system becomes more attuned to glimmers, you may find that you experience greater resilience, calm, and peace, even in challenging situations.
The long-term benefits of focusing on glimmers include:
Increased emotional regulation: The more glimmers you notice, the more you train your nervous system to stay in a state of safety and calm.
Enhanced self-awareness: Noticing glimmers helps you become more attuned to your emotions and the cues that signal safety or connection.
Improved mental health: Glimmers help shift the focus from stress and anxiety toward joy and peace, improving your overall mood and well-being.
Strengthened resilience: As you learn to notice and appreciate glimmers, you develop a greater capacity to cope with stress and adversity in a healthy way.
The Power of Glimmers in Creating a Safe and Joyful Life
In a world where stress and anxiety often take center stage, noticing and nurturing glimmers can help you reclaim a sense of peace, safety, and joy. By recognizing and appreciating these small moments of joy and connection, you can reshape your nervous system, increase your emotional resilience, and improve your overall mental health.
Whether through grounding practices, gratitude, or professional support, focusing on glimmers can help you create a more balanced and fulfilling life. If you’re ready to begin noticing glimmers and rebalancing your nervous system, reach out today to explore how these small moments of joy can have a profound impact on your well-being.
Want to dive deeper into deepening your capacity for glimmers with me? Click here to ask me any questions or book a session!
References and Further Reading:
Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.
Dana, D., & Porges, S. W. (2022). Applying Polyvagal Theory in clinical practice: A review of nervous system regulation in therapy. Frontiers in Psychology, 13, 891239. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.891239
Hanson, R., & Mendius, R. (2009). Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. New Harbinger Publications.
Kolacz, J., & Porges, S. W. (2018). The Polyvagal perspective on the autonomic nervous system and trauma. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 20(2), 189–195. https://doi.org/10.31887/DCNS.2018.20.2/skolacz
Kok, B. E., & Fredrickson, B. L. (2010). Upward spirals of the heart: Autonomic flexibility, resilience, and social connectedness. Psychological Science, 21(4), 539–545. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797610362060
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W.W. Norton & Company.
Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
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